After his father is murdered and village destroyed, Conan ventures into an unforgiving world where he survives as a thief, pirate, and warrior. On his path of wanton adventure and women, Conan chances upon the warlord responsible for his tribe's destruction. As he tracks Khalar Zym, Conan battles monsters, Zym's henchmen, and Marique, a powerful witch.
(yes i know there are better pictures of the movie but i chose this one for a reason. Also due to the character of the movie the whole review will be written in an all caps rage, so imagine me yelling whatever you read viciously while wearing nothing but fur pants and holding an axe)
REVIEW:
CONAN THE BARBARIAN! WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY? THE MOVIE INVOLVES AROUND CONAN WHO WITNESSES HIS WHOLE VILLAGE KILLED BY A WARLORD THAT WANTED TO RECREATE A MAGICAL MASK TO RESURRECT HIS DEAD WIFE AND DROWN THE WORLD IN BLOOD AND CONAN SWEARS VENGEANCE. CLASSICAL CLICHE FANTASY THEME.
WHEN I WENT TO SEE THE MOVIE I EXPECTED TO SEE VIOLENCE, A BIT OF NUDITY AND A SEX SCENE. AND OFF COURSE THE MOVIE HAD EVERYTHING OF THE ABOVE. HOWEVER IT WAS BETTER THAN I EXPECTED. FIRST OF ALL THE CAST WAS PRETTY GOOD. I RECOGNIZED A FEW ACTORS AND THE ONE THAT PLAYED THE EVIL WITCH WAS NONE OTHER THAN PAGE FROM CHARMED!!!! YES!!! EVEN AS AN UGLY ASS WITCH SHE WAS KINDA HOT!!! THE BATTLE SCENES WERE VIOLENT AND PLENTY YET THEY WERE NOT ENTIRELY UNREALISTIC. ALSO ADD TO THAT THE COUNTLESS POINTLESS SCREAMS OF MANLY BRUTAL RAGE FOR NO REASON AND YOU GET THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF CONAN.
OTHER THAN THE ABOVE THE MOVIE OFFERED LITTLE. THE SCENARIO WAS EASILY PREDICTABLE, THE EFFECTS WERE NICE, NOT SPECTACULAR BUT THEY BLENDED NICELLY, CONAN WAS TOO COOL TO WEAR A SHIRT AND EVEN IN THE FINAL SCENES WHERE HE WORE ARMOR IT WAS STRANGELY TIGHT TO MAKE SURE HIS MUSCLES COULD SHOW.
I DONT THINK THERE IS MUCH ELSE TO SAY, THE MOVIE IS GOOD AND YOU CAN PASS THE TIME WELL BUT I DO NOT RECOMMEND IT FOR THE MOVIES UNLESS THERE IS PRETTY MUCH NOTHING ELSE TO SEE. ITS BETTER TO WATCH AT HOME WITH FRIENDS TO MAKE FUN OF THE WHOLE "IM TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT" THING GOING ON.
Yiota's edit: I will let the review as it is..but not do this again? :P
Johnny's comment on Yiota's edit: its not my fault that the pic was that HUGE! i have no idea how to fix that, thanks for the correction. The review hits the spot
Yiota's comments on Johnny's comment on Yiota's edit: I was talking about the caps.
Johnny's comment on Yiota's comment on Johnny's comment on Yiota's edit: you cant write a review about CONAN without caps
Yiota's comment on Johnny's comment on Yiota's comment on Johnny's comment on Yiota's edit: Well, there in no other Conan movie announced so do NOT do this for another movie or whatever again.
Johnny's comment on Yiota's comment on Johnny's comment on Yiota's comment on Johnny's comment on Yiota's edit: unless needed i wont....though i am thinking to turn the whole review to bold, it looks not as violent as it should....
Yiota's com....well you know the drill: no please do not. i will make it more violent for you. do not touch anything. and we better stop this? It's even bigger than the review.LOL
Johnny's comment on Yiota's comment on Johnny's comment on Yiota's comment on Johnny's comment on Yiota's comment on Johnny's comment on Yiota's edit: FINE
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ReplyDeleteTo comment on the actual review, i can't believe you paid to cinemas for this? Lol!
ReplyDeleteTHAT is not hot! :p ( Rose McGowan - Conan )
@Yiota: no...no its not...yet she is strangely hot....i mean, ITS ROSE MCGOWAN!!!
ReplyDeleteCONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN
ReplyDeleteI WILL WATCH IT FOR SURE, just not in the cinemas, YEAH THIS MOVIE WILL BE AWESOME, in the way I will comment the scenes XD
and I preffered Prue than Paige, so I was a bit sad when they switched...
ReplyDelete@Silvestro that is true, prue was good but I like Paige more. I was sad when she left to be honest but hey. Now that you mention it I will go watch the series...
ReplyDeleteI am so watching this one....I think your review played a mayor role....I was laughing the whole time I was reading....Basically, caps are not bad, but a little tiring for the eyes....
ReplyDeleteP.S. I loved Charmed....
@Johnny: never really liked McGowan. I actually stoped watching Charmed when Prue left. It was lame.
ReplyDeleteI'm still not watching this movie though :p
Rose McGowan is great, i loved her from Charmed ones, actually i used to like Prue more but after Paige came and i re watched the episodes i realized that Paige is way more better...
ReplyDeletei will watch this movie, sound fun and i have to see how Rose McGowan looks...
@yiota: why did the caps bother you so much? i thought it was a nice touch!
@Yiota paige is different, they did a very good job covering the gap.
ReplyDelete@athanasia: i actually liked both of them, mostly i liked that Paige was not some sort of cover up for Prue but a different person with powers alltogether
Also my reviews are amazing, i wonder why we are even arguing about them :P
@Johnny: They killed my favorite character. She was the reason i liked the series so much. There was no way to like the new char despite her awesomeness XD You can't just kill my favorite character like that...tsk tsk..It's like killing Diraen and someone put another person in his place! I mean it's Diraen! You can't just kill him!
ReplyDelete@Athanasia: It's not easy to read. It's actually tiresome at the eyes. Like if all the letters were red in a black background.
@Yiota: Hey I like red letters on black background !!!
ReplyDelete@Yiota Diraen would not have died because he has Fang too. And NO they are not tiring! YOU are tiring! and I really liked all the effort that I put into this review and you are ruining it!
ReplyDelete